5. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. (Matthew 6:12)
To trespass is to speak of causing offence or being offended. The reality of church life is we are going to offend others, and be offended ourselves in many ways. We will all have a decision to make here. Will we hold a grudge or will we forgive the person who has offended us? When our wrongdoings are pointed out – will we get angry or defensive or will we respond with humility and repentance seeking forgiveness? Most of us are committed to the theory but, as C.S. Lewisonce said, “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.” I love reading books for interest, preaching and teaching but R.T. Kendall’s book Total Forgiveness was one I needed to read for the sake of my own soul as I was struggling to forgive someone for how they had hurt me.
Lewis goes on. “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life - to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son - How can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night "Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us." We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God's mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what He says.”
When we remember how much God has forgiven us, we have no right to not forgive the person who has wronged us. It does not mean it did not matter, it did not hurt or did not happen – but it means not holding it against them. Nicky Gumbel has said, “Holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent-free in your head.” Not forgiving someone harms us rather than them. When we choose to forgive, it also shows the extent to which we have grasped the gospel – God not counting our sins against us.